Wednesday, 11 May 2016

You Didn't Learn These Top 10 Secrets In School?

High school is good preparation for college. And college can be a good preparation for finding a job. Yet neither is very good at preparing you for general success in life. The most important ideas and skills for successful living aren’t taught in school. Unless you have an appropriate mentor, this critical part of your education is your responsibility.

Consider these secrets to living a successful and enjoyable life:

There are plenty of highly intelligent and talented people living on the street. Even if you feel that you were born with the short end of the stick, you can still be incredibly happy and successful by any measure. The ability to persevere can overcome almost any obstacle.

2. You can’t control other people. With practice, you can learn to control yourself. When you appreciate how challenging it is to control yourself, you’ll realize how futile it is to attempt to control others. Invite people into your life that you don’t feel the need to change, and everything will go more smoothly.

3. The best investment is the investment you make in yourself. Spend money to enhance your skills and abilities. A gym membership and the right books can be the best money you’ll ever spend.

4. Failing is an essential part of success. Those that ultimately succeed are those that failed the most. Fail quickly, learn, adjust your process, and have another go at it.

5. It’s important to forgive easily. When you forgive others, you set yourself free. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean you give the other person a second chance. It means that you’re choosing not to suffer any longer.

6. Most of the things you worry about will never happen. We’re all experts at creating imaginary challenges. We worry and expect the worst. Take a few moments and think about the biggest worries you’ve had. Most of them never happened. There’s plenty of time to get upset after something negative actually happens. Avoid feeling bad before it’s justified.

7. You only need a couple of good friends. Good friends are hard to find. Those people that you believe have 20 close friends do not. Focus on making quality relationships. You don’t have enough time to take care of more than a couple of close friends anyway.

8. Find a partner that fits into your life, rather than trying to build a life around your partner. Suppose you have the life-long dream of spending your winters in San Diego and your summers in the south of France. It doesn’t make sense to become romantically involved with someone that insists on living near their family in Oklahoma.

Build a life you love and then find someone that fits into your lifestyle. There are more people you could happily spend a lifetime with than you think.

9. Find your purpose. Living in a three-bedroom ranch with two kids and a dog is not enough. Imagine having everything you want in life, but spending 8+ hours each day at a job you despise. You’ll spend a lot of time at work. Ensure that you find something you enjoy.

10. Stay in shape. Even the 3-sport high school athlete can eventually reach 300 pounds. It’s much easier to stay in shape than to get in shape. Develop an exercise routine and diet plan you can follow for a lifetime.

It’s possible to do well in school and still struggle with life. However, life is easier than you think once you understand these secrets you never learned in school.

Friday, 15 April 2016

7 Proven Tips to Silence Your Inner Critic

Here are the 7 proven tips presented to you by an NLP Practitioner & Life Coach. I gave these tips to my clients and their feedback was amazing.

We all carry around a critic that appears to be focused on making us miserable. Life is simpler and more enjoyable if you can silence your inner critic. If you spend some time and really listen to this critic, you’ll be amazed by what you hear. You’ve never known anyone so negative or so odd.

Yet you listen to your inner critic as if you’re listening to an expert. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Change how you view your internal dialogue:

1.      Listen to your inner critic dispassionately. Just stop and listen for a minute. Notice the things it says. It won’t take long before you realize you’re listening to a lunatic. In fact, listen to your self-talk in general. Imagine what “you” say to yourself while you’re watching TV:

·         “Oh yeah! I love this movie, except the acting stinks and some parts are boring. I think I have time to go to the bathroom and get a snack before it starts getting good.

I’m still fat and can barely get off the couch because I’m stuck so far down in the cushions. If my mom had treated me better, I wouldn’t be so addicted to eating junk. I loved watching Fat Albert when I was a kid...”

·         What would happen if you were sitting next to a person rambling on like this? You’d be looking for the nearest exit. Yet this is the way we speak to ourselves. Realize that you’re listening to someone you’d avoid in real life. There’s no reason to take self-talk seriously, but we drag this inner dialog around with us and listen to it!

2.      Ask yourself what you would say to a friend or a child in the same situation. Or imagine what your best friend would say to you. The language, comments, and advice would be much different than what you say to yourself.

·         When your critical dialog starts, ignore the criticism and consciously practice being as gentle with yourself as you would to a friend or a child.

3.      Remember all the times you were successful. Psychologists believe it requires ten positive experiences to overcome one bad experience. Take a couple of minutes each day to remember the all the amazing things you’ve accomplished.

·         In fact, with diligence, this can become a habit. As soon as a negative thought enters your mind, you can instantly think of something positive, instead.

4.      Write it down. Instead of just hearing your inner critic, write down what was said and read it. It will seem less credible in a new format.

5.      Put the criticism to the test. What evidence do you have to support this negative statement? Can you think of instances in the past where this statement was false?

·         If you were more positive, how would you view this situation? What can you gain from your current situation?

6.      Keep your mind on today. The past is of little value today, and tomorrow is impossible to predict. Keep your attention on making the most of today. By doing that consistently, tomorrow will take care of itself.

7.      Be grateful. The easiest way to uplift your mood and your self-talk is to spend time feeling grateful. List the things in your life that fill you with feelings of gratitude.

Your inner critic has little to offer you. Realize how silly your inner talk can be. You’d never be friends with a person that spoke that way. And you’d certainly never take them seriously. You’d stay as far away as you possibly could.

Use these tips to keep your inner critic under control and develop the habit of speaking positively to yourself, instead. Your self-confidence and success will soar. You can reach out to me for any further guidance. Check my profile on

Monday, 14 March 2016

No Idea what to do? Follow these Steps!

Sometimes the right choice is obvious. Other times, the solution is a little less clear. When you’re most uncertain, you’re often in a situation with great potential. This type of confusion is common when you come to a crossroads in life. The biggest decisions are often the most intimidating.

The ability to make challenging decisions increases with experience.

Try these techniques to deal with uncertainty and make intelligent decisions:

1. Be clear regarding your values. A wise choice might be easier if you’re aware of your values. Whenever you’re stuck, return to your values and take another crack at the situation. If you’ve never considered what your values may be, take the opportunity to make a list and describe what’s most important to you. 

2. Gather more information. Do you have enough information to make a good decision? Take the time you need to gather the information needed to make a wise choice. Take advantage of every possible resource.

3. Avoid indecision as a decision. There’s a difference between taking your time and being indecisive. Make no mistake: failing to make a decision is a decision. It’s a decision to rely on luck and forces outside yourself to decide your fate. When you don’t make a decision, you lose control of your future.

4. Ask a mentor for advice. Maybe someone else you know has faced a similar dilemma. Experience counts for a lot. Get guidance if it’s available to you, but avoid blindly following the advice of others. Make your own decision. A mentor guides, but he doesn’t decide.

5. Relax. Your brain works better when it’s relaxed. An overly stressed state results in the inhibition of the higher functions of your brain. Your best ideas come when you’re mentally at ease. Take a long, hot bath and ponder your situation.

6. Get some exercise. Physical exertion can change your chemistry and provide a new perspective. Hit the gym for an hour and then reconsider your dilemma. Don’t be surprised if you have a few new ideas.

7. Meditate or pray. The choice is yours. The mental state achieved through meditation and prayer can be highly creative. You’ll be in a better place to make a good decision.

8. What would you tell a friend in the same situation? Dealing with the challenges of others can be clearer than dealing with your own. What would you tell a friend or family member? It may be wise to take your own advice!

9. Review your goals. Each action you take will make achieving your goals either more or less likely. How do your choices mesh with your goals? This can be an effective way to find an intelligent solution. Make a list of goals if you don’t already have one.

10. Consider the downside. Maybe there is more than one choice with the same potential benefits. But consider the possible downside to each option. Manage your risk. When two or more options have the same potential benefit, the choice with the least risk is often the best.

When you’re stuck, it means that all the choices seem equivalent. After you’ve done everything you can to reach a decision, choose.

Even if you’re still uncertain, make a choice and stick with it until you’re certain it was a wrong choice. Even a poor decision is usually better than no decision at all. Taking action might show you a new idea for a better approach. And you’ll be moving forward, instead of stuck in the quagmire of indecision.

Friday, 11 March 2016

8 Activities that help you build Self-Confidence

Everything becomes easier when you’re brimming with self-confidence. As soon as self-doubt enters your mind, your ability to act is compromised. Self-confidence might seem to rise and fall in a random fashion, but there are steps you can take to increase the level of confidence you experience on a regular basis.

Enhance your self-confidence and accomplish more with these techniques:

1.      Achieve a goal. Start small. Your goal might be to arrive to work on time every day this week or to eat a piece of fruit each day. Easy goals are easy to accomplish. When you accomplish something, you feel more confident. Choose easy goals that make a difference. The accomplishment of many, small goals will change your level of confidence.

2.      Make a list of your accomplishments. It’s interesting that our failures are easy to list, but our accomplishments require a little more pondering. Make a list of your accomplishments and review them each day. Remember how great you felt in that moment.

3.      Groom yourself to a higher standard. Get a better haircut. Spend a little more time and attention on your grooming each morning. Learn how to apply your makeup more effectively. Trim your beard in a more attractive manner. Trim those stray ear and nose hairs. You’ll be surprised how much better you look and feel.

4.      Be assertive. Having more control over your life results in greater self-confidence. One of the quickest ways to increase the level of influence you have over your life is to be more assertive. Give yourself small tasks to accomplish that require assertiveness. A few examples you might consider:

·         Walk into a fast-food restaurant and ask for a cup of water without ordering anything else. It doesn’t matter whether your request is granted. Just ask.

·         Tell your boss one thing you’d like to change about your job or your work environment.

·         Make one suggestion to your significant other that would enhance your relationship.

5.      Dress nicer. We all feel more confident when we’re dressed well. Up your game and put the “nice clothes” in your closet to work for you. Think of your friend or coworker that dresses the best. Shoot for a similar level of clothing while maintaining your own style. It takes the same amount of time to put on a nicer shirt.

6.      Practice. Practice breeds confidence. You’ll be much more confident if you practice your speech ten times instead of five. Whether you practice your flirting skills or your ability give presentations, your confidence will increase with practice.

7.      Drop one thing from your life. The odds are high that you’re currently stuck with an obligation in your life that you don’t enjoy. While there are some things in life you have to do, there are just as many that you don’t. Take control and drop one of these non-essential activities that you prefer not to do anyway.

8.      Find a mentor. The right mentor can make all the difference. Knowing that you have an expert on your side is sure to boost your confidence. A good mentor will provide the support and guidance necessary to reach your goals. Good mentors aren’t easy to find, but well worth the effort to locate.

Some of us are blessed with a high level of self-confidence while others must learn to cultivate it. Focus on your accomplishments, be more assertive, and find a mentor. Spend time each day growing your self-confidence and experience real personal growth.

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Strengthen the Emotional Bonds of Your Relationship in 7 Steps

Relationship matters a lot to you, isn't it? You can make your relationships emotionally deeper and stronger with simple actions. If you want your relationships to last, then it’s crucial to invest time and effort into them.

Try these strategies:  

1.      Spend the entire day with the person. One of the easiest ways to build an emotionally stronger relationship and create memories is to spend an entire day with your loved one.  

·         Your day can start with going out for breakfast and activities that you both enjoy. On the other hand, you can simply hang out at home together and relax. The most important point is to spend time together and enjoy it.

2.      Create a special memory. Do you both love art or scrap booking? Do you enjoy traveling to explore and experience new locations? A special memory can involve creating an object or an event together.

·         Deeper relationships are created by sharing experiences with each other.

·         You can create a painting together, put together a photo album, or paint the kitchen. You can also travel together and build new memories.

3.      Share your secrets. Vulnerability in a relationship can make it stronger and healthier.

·         Trust is an essential part of a healthy relationship, so it’s important to feel comfortable sharing your secrets. You should be able to have confidence that the other person will keep the secret and not share it with anyone else.

4.      Share your future plans. Share your ideas about the future and the goals you want to achieve. Listen to your partner’s goals for the future too. Together, you can support each other on the path to success and fulfillment.

5.      Share your favorite books and articles. One of the easiest ways to create a stronger relationship is to share your favorite books and articles. This allows the other person to learn more about your interests and get a deeper understanding of you.  

·         Your favorite books and articles can reveal more than just your interests. They can be mirrors into your soul and reveal your thoughts, expectations, and beliefs.

·         You should feel comfortable sharing your reading material. Avoid worrying about judgment or arguments that could appear after your loved one reads these items.

6.      Discuss your past. Have you opened up about your past? Conversations about the past can help you bond by sharing details of your history. The other person can learn more about you and your personality.

·         You may want to share the stories that are hidden from others and discuss past mistakes or other issues.

7.      Use technology to stay in touch. If you can’t see each other on a daily basis, use technology to communicate as often as possible. Your phones, tablets, and other devices can help you stay connected.

·         Ongoing communication is a key part of emotionally strong relationships.

·         You can use the traditional phone calls to stay in touch or turn to Skype, video chats, texts, emails, or social media.

·         Choose the devices and methods that work best for both of you.

Relationships can wither and stagnate if you don’t take action to keep them fresh, alive, and exciting. Make the effort to strengthen your emotional bonds. Your rewards will be well worth it!

Thursday, 11 February 2016

Foolproof Formula for Showing Your Boss You Have Potential

Showing your boss that you have potential is essential whether you want to climb up the ladder to senior management or be picked for interesting projects. Naturally, being competent at your current job is a starting point, but it takes more than that to advance.

In fact, your boss is probably evaluating you already. A Harvard survey found that 98% of companies have some sort of system to identify high performers, a select group that represents only about 3 to 5% of the workforce.

Meanwhile, staying in those elite ranks is almost as challenging as getting there. The same survey found that up to 20% of these rising stars drop off the list each year.

Start fulfilling your ambitions today. Take a look at these tips that can help you stay on track at each stage of your career.

Displaying Your Potential Early in Your Career

When you’re new on the job, focus on fitting in and making connections. That groundwork will build a stable foundation for your future.

1.      Deliver results. Track and document your accomplishments. Develop a reputation for exceeding expectations and completing assignments on time. Identify challenges where you can propose solutions.

2.      Support your boss. Strive to make your boss look good. Study their priorities so you know where to devote your efforts.

3.      Focus on learning. Keep the big picture in mind as you find out all you can about your company and your industry. Ask lots of questions, be observant, and read the latest news.

4.      Ask for feedback. Learn about yourself too. Invite others to let you know what they think about your work. Be open to criticism and thank your colleagues for their comments.

5.      Act on your knowledge. For your lessons to have an impact, you need to translate them into action. Analyze information to discover its practical applications. Make a list of takeaways each time you pick a coworker’s brain or attend a conference.

6.      Be humble. Let your actions speak for themselves. Contribute to the team and share credit with others.

Displaying Your Potential Later in Your Career

As a seasoned professional, your competence tends to be taken for granted. Now, you’re more likely to be appreciated for intangibles like leadership and vision.

1.      Develop a specialty. Be prepared to let go of some responsibilities so you can leverage your strengths. Identify what you’re good at and what you like to do.

2.      Provide a role model. Now is the time to give back. Think about the qualities you admire in your own role models and adapt them to suit your style. Reach out to new hires and offer constructive feedback to your peers.

3.      Motivate others. Encourage others to pursue their passions too. Provide the employees you manage with opportunities to learn and grow. Empower them with meaningful work.

4.      Serve as an ambassador. Your behavior reflects on your company as you deal with clients or the general public. Ensure you understand the mission statement so you can put those values into action.

5.      Take risks. You can act like an entrepreneur even if someone else owns the company. Take sensible risks that will allow you to stretch your skills and enhance your company’s position. Start off small and learn from experience so you can fine tune your judgement over time.

Demonstrating your potential to your boss will help you gain recognition and promotions. The early years of your career are an ideal time to position yourself for success by strengthening your performance. Later, you can count on your business savvy and close relationships to help you excel as a leader.

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

Simple Things Tonight to Make Tomorrow Morning Less Stressful

Are mornings a mad rush at your house? By the time you find matching socks for the kids and answer the text messages that piled up overnight, you may feel like you’ve put in a full day before you even reach the office.

You can make your mornings run more smoothly. Take a look at these suggestions for feeling more relaxed as you start each day.

8 Ways to Save Time in the Morning

Staying on schedule is probably your biggest challenge. These time-savers will streamline your routine.

1.      Plan your schedule. Maybe you’re trying to cram too much into too few hours. Figure out how much time you need for your usual activities. Then, you can calculate when you need to go to bed so you’ll be well rested each day.

2.      Organize your space. Do you know where your umbrella is? Keeping essential items in their place will eliminate searching for car keys or gym bags.

3.      Check the weather. Rain and snow may change your plans. Take a look at the forecast before you go to bed so you’ll be ready with rain boots or ice scrapers.

4.      Prepare breakfast. Eating breakfast gives you energy now, and makes it easier to resist snacking on junk food later. Assemble your smoothie ingredients tonight so you can pull them out of the refrigerator tomorrow.

5.      Lay out your clothes. Hang tomorrow’s outfit at the front of your closet or on the back of your bedroom door. Buy a compact steamer to cut down on ironing time.

6.      Simplify your look. How many products do you use in the morning? Design a simpler skin care regimen and browse around for a low-maintenance hairstyle.

7.      Write notes. Save your brain power for more important subjects. Jot down reminders to pick up prescriptions or dry cleaning.

8.      Shorten your commute. Studies show that the length of your commute has a dramatic effect on your health and well-being. Moving or changing jobs is a big decision, but you may want to explore your options. If you’re looking for a benchmark, the average one-way commute in the U.S. is 25.5 minutes.

5 Ways to Make Mornings More Peaceful

However much you need to do, you can stay calm and focused. It’s a matter of attitude. These tips will help you enjoy mornings more.

1.      Adjust the light. Light has a powerful effect on your brain. Darkening your bedroom at night will help you to sleep better so you wake up feeling refreshed. The opposite holds true for waking up. Exposure to morning sun will banish grogginess.

2.      Meditate before bed. Meditating or praying before sleep may give you pleasant dreams. You can reinforce the positive feelings by meditating in the morning too.

3.      Skip the snooze button. Try placing your alarm clock across the room if you’re in the habit of hitting the snooze button. Those 10 minute fragments of sleep usually leave you feeling worse than if you get out of bed immediately.

4.      Play music. Spend your evening cuing up a playlist of your favorite songs. Lively music will give you energy if you’re dragging around. Gentle instrumental music will soothe your nerves if you’re apprehensive about a job interview or business presentation.

5.      Download a podcast. Continue your education during your commute. Find a podcast that will teach you Roman history or the fundamentals of accounting.

A few simple strategies can turn you into an early bird or at least make your initial hours happier and more productive. Starting the morning on a positive note will help you head off stress and feel calmer all day long.

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